fuck you you fucking fuck!!!

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Yesterday i was with Bubu at the Graveyard, taking a view over the whole city and talked for a few hours....feelt pretty okay and was awesome!!

Otherwise i just was checking some flats in munich. we want to move during august and it makes me crazy. Julia told me she dont know if she can move with us...and really. i really like Lilith but i know i cant stand her all the time....

anyhow. it makes me think about so many stuff, how good i have it here with my room and everything...but i really want my own flat and start my own life....but its so hard and usch. im just crying cuz i dont know any way out..

at one side i wanna stay here by my family, take care of them and just enjoy the time...but at the other side i want into the city, having party and starting my own world.

 

its a fucking circle i just dont know a way out....mom is alone downstairs...i just want to go to her and talk with her, but i dont know, i dont want to go downstairs its AAARRRRGHH.

im going really insane, seriously. i just want to tell my parents how importand there are to me, but i just cant i dont know why. and i talk and talk and just tell the same shit....

fuck it..

i stop to write here before my brain explodes. i just wanna cry and lay in my moms armes...like a little little baby - thats what i really am 

 

//Berna

4.7.09 22:07
 


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